Jessa Zimmerman

Therapist, Author, Speaker

Helping couples take the stress out of sex

Hi, I’m Jessa.

I’m passionate about helping couples find pleasure and connection in their sex lives.

My Story

I am a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. I work in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of my therapy career, I have focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy.

In my years of clinical experience, I have treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. My clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy.

I specialize in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. I educate, coach, and support people as they go through my 9-phase experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life.

I received my Master’s in Psychology from LIOS college of Saybrook University and Sex Therapist certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). I have done extensive training in couples’ therapy, with a focus on Crucible® Therapy with Dr. David Schnarch.

I am the author of “Sex without stress; a couple’s guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance, and pressure.” I am the host of the Better Sex Podcast and have appeared on numerous other podcasts as an expert guest. I am a regular contributor in the media as a sex and relationship expert, including Mind Body Green, Marriage.com, Refinery29, and Business Insider.

I live in Seattle with my partner and youngest child of three.

My Values & Beliefs

I believe that sex is important.

Sex is important. When people are happy with their sex life, it makes up about 20% of their relationship satisfaction. But when people are unhappy with their sex life, its importance jumps to about 70% of their entire relationship satisfaction. When a couple struggles with sex, it can become a big issue and take a significant toll on happiness for the people involved. Our sexuality is a birthright. Expressing it can be an experience of pleasure, connection, playfulness, creativity and love. It taps into a life force that is powerful and healing. Being cut off from our sexuality or being unable to express it, alone or with others, separates us from a part of ourselves that matters.

There is no better way to grow as a person that doing the work it takes to be successful in relationship.

We can do a lot of personal work, but it isn’t put to the test until we’re trying to navigate and negotiate a relationship with someone that matters to us. Our partnership is where we are tested and challenged to grow and mature. Our intimate relationship is our opportunity to learn about ourselves and to transform how we act and react in order to be better people.

I believe that respect can involve challenge.

While people should confront themselves first, there is also room to respectfully confront each other. This shows we believe someone can do better; we’re speaking the best part of them that could respond and step up. If we avoid challenge and directness, we effectively treat someone as if they aren’t competent to hear us and receive our feedback.

My Approach

I have a tremendous amount of compassion for people struggling with sex. I know how much fear you can feel when things aren’t going well. It’s easy to think you’re broken or that you’re with the wrong person. It takes courage to admit that and to take steps to change the problem. I have so much respect and admiration for anyone who can step through that fear to reach out for help.

I value being kind, approachable, and yet direct at the same time. I am good at developing rapport and understanding with clients, and I quickly put people at ease, letting you know that it’s completely normal to struggle in your intimate life.

I want to spread hope with the message that sex really can be easy. It’s possible to change how you think about sex – what it is, what it’s for, and how it goes – so that you cannot fail at it. Once you get there, sex can be stress-free and playful. My goal is to make the world a better place, one relationship at a time. Not only does out happiness increase, but we’re more able to make our own impact in the world when our relationship is solid.

Interviews

TV Interviews

Let's Talk Live, WJLA - Holiday Stress

Valentine's Day - How to invest in your relationship

Good Morning Washington, WJLA - Is your passion crashin'?

Radio

Video

Hezalia TV

Featured Publications

Articles

Sex and Intimacy Blog

Latest Posts

Sexual Satisfaction Scale

Sexual Satisfaction Scale

This new tool is a great way to talk to your partner about what you each value in sex. You spend time identifying what makes your sex life the most satisfying (and the least), examine the themes that are relevant to you, and then discuss with your partner. This may...

This is how to apologize to your partner

This is how to apologize to your partner

Originally written for Mind Body Green – https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-say-sorry-right-way-to-apologize-to-your-partner A good apology can make a world of difference in repairing the rifts that all relationships encounter. But it’s easy to miss the...

The Taker/Allower Exercise

The Taker/Allower Exercise

The Giver/Receiver exercise is designed to help you practice what I call the nine tenants of a healthy sex life: prioritizing intimacy, communicating about sex, accessing desire, enjoying the journey, being present, being okay with “no,” being selfish, being giving,...

Better Sex Podcast

Latest Episodes

#83: Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz – Erectile Dysfunction

#83: Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz – Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction My guest is Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz. She is a licensed clinical psychiatrist, a sex therapist, and an overall expert on arousal disorders and more. She has a practice in Silicon Valley and is here to talk about erections: in particular, how to have...

#82: [Soapbox] – Exploring Eroticism

#82: [Soapbox] – Exploring Eroticism

Exploring Eroticism  The topic today is eroticism, which is our unique fingerprint of what turns us on. It's a set of things or the theme of things that really arouses us – that we find highly interesting and erotic. We all have the things that we prefer in sex and...

#81: August McLaughlin – Girl Boner

#81: August McLaughlin – Girl Boner

Girl Boner – A Story of Empowerment My guest is August McLaughlin. She is a celebrated health and sexuality writer, the creator of Girl Boner, wrote a book with the same name, and is a fellow podcaster! As she states during the talk, her experience with sexual...

Don’t Wait Any Longer. Start Improving Your Intimate Relationship Today!

We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By agreeing you accept the use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.

Privacy Settings saved!
Privacy Settings

When you visit any web site, it may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Control your personal Cookie Services here.

These cookies are necessary for the website to function and cannot be switched off in our systems.

In order to use this website we use the following technically required cookies
  • wordpress_test_cookie
  • wordpress_logged_in_
  • wordpress_sec

Decline all Services
Accept all Services