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Last week, I asked you and your partner to discuss your experiences with sexual identity. Sexual identity can be a life-long discovery, and for many people, is not fixed over time. But like so much of our sexual selves, it is often informed by early experiences. This week, I want you and your partner to delve deeper into what your earliest sexual experiences taught you.

Early Sexual Experiences

Your past sexual experiences inform your expectations and desires, one way or another. Perhaps you rebel against the things that have happened to you, determined to live differently in the future. Or perhaps you absorbed your experiences, and they dictate what you come to expect in a relationship. For some, early experiences were positive. But for others, they were disappointing, shaming, scary, or confusing. It’s worth understanding and sharing what your experiences have been and how they have affected you. Go through these questions and see what you learn:

  • What were your earliest sexual experiences?
  • How did you feel about them at the time? How do you feel about them now?
  • Do you wish you had had more sexual experiences? Fewer?
  • Did you self-pleasure? How did you feel about it?
  • What messages did you get about that?
  • What about chosen experiences with other people?
  • How did these experiences shape your attitudes, beliefs, and expectations about sex? How are they relevant to your current situation?