Sex, intimacy and relationships are important in our lives. As humans, we are designed to be in relationship to others. Our connection to the people we love makes a big difference in our quality of life and our fulfillment as people. When we are disconnected, we suffer. And when we struggle in our most intimate partnership, it not only causes us distress, but it drains valuable energy and bandwidth that we could use to show up and make a difference in the world.
Sex can be an important part of our relationship. When we are happy with our sex life, it makes up about 20% of our relationship satisfaction. But when we are unhappy with our sex life, its importance jumps to about 70% of our entire relationship satisfaction. When we struggle with sex, it can become a big issue and take a significant toll on happiness and well-being. Our sexuality is a birthright. Expressing it can be an experience of pleasure, connection, playfulness, creativity and love. It taps into a life force that is powerful and healing. Being cut off from our sexuality or being unable to express it, alone or with others, separates us from a part of ourselves that matters.
Sex has health benefits, as well. It’s a form of exercise that gets our heart pumping. Orgasm has lots of benefits, from strengthening the pelvic floor, secretion of oxytocin (the bonding hormone), dopamine (the feel-good neurotransmitter), endorphins (pain reducers and pleasure enhancers), to increases in chemicals that improve our immunity and makes us look younger. Sex helps us sleep better and maintain a calm and happy mood. Sex and orgasm can reduce stress and provide a reset in a busy world.
I work as a sex therapist because I know the importance of creating and maintaining a fulfilling sex life with our partner. While it’s totally normally to struggle with sex at some point in a relationship, it’s also totally possible to overcome the challenges and continue to enjoy each other in sexually intimate ways.