I’m jessa zimmerman

Certified sex therapist, couples counselor, author & speaker

Helping couples take the stress out of sex

The Book

I wrote Sex Without Stress to bring hope and transformation to all of the couples who are in good relationships but are suffering in their sex lives and don’t see a way forward. By changing the way you think about intimacy and relationships, and by working through my 9-phase process, you can transform your sex life. 

The Course

Based on my new book, this 8 week course is designed to support couples through a process of transforming their sex lives through webinar teaching, structured at home conversations and exercises, and live online office hours for questions and input. The perfect option if you prefer auditory learning or accountability.

Sex Without Stress

My new book helps you understand why you’re stuck with sex and what you can do about it.


Online Course

An 8 week program that walks you through the process in my book, allowing you to transform your sex life.

Better Sex Podcast

A weekly show that features interviews with experts who share their knowledge and regular people who share their stories.



Couples counseling and sex therapy in my in person private practice in Seattle or online sessions for Washington State residents.

Just released!

Sex Without Stress:

A couple’s guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance & pressure

Understand the sexual avoidance cycle

Change your mindset so you cannot fail

Explore how your past has shaped your current challenges

Learn the touching exercise that will transform your sex life

Sex Without Stress Online Course

Eight weeks to a better sex life!

Based on my new book, this course is designed to support couples through a process of transforming their sex lives through webinar teaching, structured at home conversations and exercises, and live online office hours for questions and input.

What is included?

This is an 8-week course, with 8 webinars that can be watched live or at your convenience. The webinars will be offered on Monday mornings at 9:30 am Pacific time but also recorded and available for later viewing. They will be held weekly, from January 28 – March 18, 2019.

There will be 5 online open office hours offered at various times during the course. They will be held on Saturday mornings at 9am Pacific time. This gives you the chance to ask questions and get support specific to your situation. Questions can be submitted in advance, and recording will be available.

There will be written materials available for each module, giving you cheat sheets, conversation framework, and exercise directions.

What does it cost?

$247.00 per couple if you sign up before Dec. 1, 2018. Then price increases to $297.00 per couple.

Who is this for?

I have designed this course to help great couples—couples just like you—who wish their sex lives were great, too. What makes you a great couple? When at least some of these apply:

• You are still friends, even best friends. • You manage something well together: you co-parent successfully, you manage your money, or you are cooperative partners in the home. • You can still have fun together. • You have a great relationship, separate from sex. • You can talk about most things. • You share a basic kindness and decency with each other.

This is not to say the two of you never quarrel, or that there aren’t some problems in your relationship. But to get the most out of this book, you will need to have a solid foundation. If you have goodwill, love, and respect but don’t know what to do to address your sex life, this course can help.

If this doesn’t sound like your relationship, though, it may not be time to use this course. John Gottman, a famous researcher of marital stability, writes about what he calls the four horsemen of the apocalypse: defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, and criticism. These behaviors are good indications of bigger issues in your relationship that will need to be addressed before you can work as a team to tackle your sexual issues. Find a good therapist and get some help, so you can be honest about your issues and learn how to interact as allies. If you do not feel good about the person you are or the person you’re with, it’s going to be difficult to change your situation—because to transform your sex life, it is more effective if you work together.

Do I need to do this with my partner?

Yes. Because all this material is being presented in just 8 weeks, it’s important that you and your partner are working as a team as you proceed. The book, coming out this fall, can be used as guidance if you’re doing this on your own.

Sex Without Stress Course Testimonials

“Being asked to slow down and explore together our emotional, family, and sexual histories, made it easier for us to be compassionate to ourselves”

“We were able to overcome these feelings by being honest, and I think it actually brought us closer because it made us understand where each of us was coming from during sex”

” Talking about our upbringing and connecting those experiences with our present relational experiences was really eye-opening”

Sex and Intimacy Blog

Latest Posts

Power In Your Family

Last week, you and your partner discussed the members of your respective families. Now it’s time to dig a little deeper. Power in Your Family After discussing the members of your nuclear family, it is important to think about how your family handled power. Every...

Sex is important

Sex, intimacy and relationships are important in our lives. As humans, we are designed to be in relationship to others. Our connection to the people we love makes a big difference in our quality of life and our fulfillment as people. When we are disconnected, we...

Your Family History

Understanding your part of the avoidance cycle in your relationship means taking a close look at your family history. In order to change your relationship patters, you have to get clear about your contributions to the problem and where they stem from. Let’s turn first...

Better Sex Podcast

Latest Episodes

#45: Pia [Personal Story] – Parent of a Trans Teen

Parenting a trans teen Pia is the mother of a transgender child (now twenty years old) who underwent a successful physical transition into his male self. Pia’s love for her kid and overall emotional resiliency shines through when she recounts the details of her...

#44: Paul Joannides – The Guide to Getting It On

The Guide to Getting It On: A Self-Published Phenomenon If there was ever an excuse to self-publish a book, The Guide is a great example of how successful one can be using the practice. After Paul had taken nine years to finish the first draft of what would become The...

#43: Jenny Berk – Body Image

  Our Body Image: Is it Environmentally Reinforced? To start this episode, Jenny shares her fascination for the “etiology” (origin) of our body image. That is, when did we first become self-conscious about our bodies? Jenny states that she did over sixty interviews...

About Me

I help people who long to share a great sex life with their partner, but who find themselves feeling distant, disconnected, anxious or at odds about sex instead.


I guide people through a process to understand their own needs and desires in relationship, as well their individual contribution to the problems, so that they can make their sex life as good as the rest of their relationship. I know from my years in practice focused on couples & sex that no matter how stuck you might feel right now, sex can be a joy instead of the elephant in the room. I believe that strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships make the world a better place.

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Online Resources

Sex & Intimacy Blog

Weekly written and video posts that bring you information and inspiration for your best sex life

Better Sex Podcast

A weekly podcast featuring interviews with experts sharing their knowledge and with regular people sharing their stories

Free Sex Quiz

How healthy is your sex life? Take this free 30 question quiz to find your sex life rated over five important factors

Couples & Sex Therapy Seattle Private Practice

Invest in your relationship.

When your intimate life suffers, your whole life suffers. Whatever it is that you are missing, or concerned about, can cast a dark shadow on what otherwise might be a wonderful relationship.

I help couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it’s become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.

I have the skills and experience to help you figure out how to improve your relationship and your sex life.  Together, we’ll work to create the changes — both emotional and physical — you need in order to add pleasure, joy, and intimacy to your relationship.

Don’t continue to struggle on your own.  Let me help!